The Most Painful Erectile Dysfunction Treatments in History (Ranked)

July 8, 2021

History is plagued with many false assumptions and diagnoses for any one disease. Up until about 1845 people used to believe Malaria was caused by “bad air” that blew in during the night or from the marshes. It would take a military doctor name Alphonse Laveran in 1874 to prove that Maleria was in fact a germ carried by mosquitoes.

Modern science allows us to put our 20/20 Hindsight glasses on and ask ourselves, what were they thinking to even think that.. and there is no other ailment ancient science has tried to remedy more than that of impotence. Some of the first recorded remedies of Erectile Dysfunction date as far back to 2500BC! In ancient Greece they used animals associated with potency, such as snakes, to consume or rub on the gentile areas. Below is a list of the most painful Erectile Dysfunction treatments ancient – and modern – history have used.

Starting off with the least painful method:

Chinese Potion to Treat Erectile Dysfunction

#7 This Unobtainable Potion

In 2500 BC, a textbook of traditional Chinese medicine contained an elixir of 22 ingredients that was rumored to be used by the emperor to bed 1,200 women. The ingredients are wild and a bit grotesque. Such as: ox-penis, human placenta, the tongues of a 100 peacocks and distilled rhinoceros urine.

#6 After While Crocodile

Around 1600 BC, the Egyptians believed that spells and witchcraft caused impotence. They believed a man could guard themselves against these spells with many topical remedies. An Egyptian Papyrus titled “Ebers” documented the grinding of baby crocodile hearts and wood oil rubbed on the penis would maintain a man’s sexual potency. This might be a less painful method than the drinking of human placenta; but we wonder how many hands were bitten by crocodiles to make this concoction.

Acupuncture has been used in ancient and modern times to restore the flow of Qi and treat Erectile Dysfunction

#5 A Poke and A Prod

Going back to Eastern methods – one that is still used today – is acupuncture. Studies show that acupuncture is virtually painless when administered by trained professionals. The Chinese believe that the element of Qi, a vital energy permeating the whole universe, generates from a balance of Yin and Yang. Acupuncture identifies key acupoints in the body that help regulate the flow of Qi. Old and modern documents show that there are targeted acupoints on the genital area. Anytime there is a needle insertion around this sensitive tissue, we believe there is going to be some minor pain felt.

#4 Witches and Starfish

The Middle Ages have a dark history of treating ED. It was during 1450-1750AD that the church correlated male impotence with female witchcraft. Women could be beaten, tortured or burned for causing male impotence. After some reasonable thought and the consistency of male impotence still happening after the burning of witches; they finally sought solutions through apothecary remedies. One being star fish. When consumed, this aphrodisiac surprisingly worked but at a cost. Men would often have very painful ejaculations. So painful, blood would be present when orgasming.

 #3 The Price of Inflation

A big leap forward to the 1970’s brings us – what could be called – the very first penis pump. Still used today, a man named Geddings Osbon was diagnosed with impotence and was told nothing could be done about it. His expertise in “vacuum” technology used at his small business to repair tires would become his solution. Geddings used a tire pump to create negative air pressure that vacuum sealed a cylinder cupped around the penis to bring blood flow and cause a sustained erection. He would later pioneer the technology that would eventually become FDA approved penis pumps. However, there is documentation he experienced a few painful experiments before getting it “right.

#2 History’s First Cut

Year 1873, in Italy, the first surgical treatments for erectile dysfunction were attempted. A successful treatment was one that blocked veins that drained blood away from the penis to mitigate male impotence. The procedure and side affects would be documented as painful. Present day doctors do not recommend surgery or any type of vascular transplant to treat erectile dysfunction.

Russian doctor Serge Voronoff transplanted monkey testicles into human scrotums to heal ED.

#1 Swapping Testicles

Coming in first place as the most painful remedy for erectile dysfunction is one that didn’t happen so long ago. In 1918, a Russian doctor named Serge Abrahamovitch Voronoff or later nicknamed “Monkey Gland Man” would transplant monkey testicles into human scrotums.

The results improved penile activity but only because of the “placebo” effect! After treating more than 500 men and thousands more around the world it was concluded that this painful operation never successfully showed evidence of animal organs and tissue being absorbed. A lot of the recipients would face excruciation side effects for years after their transplant.

Medical history is fascinating. There are breakthroughs we honor and failed attempts the scientific community would rather forget. The curing of Erectile Dysfunction dates as far back as the first medical records we can find. Male impotency has not been ignored throughout the ages or in modern times.

What is common about these treatments is their unproven or weak track record of success. Treating ED has been much of a guessing game; until now.

A Painless Treatment is Discovered

Paragon’s Pulse Wave therapy is a painless treatment process that uses acoustic waves to regenerate natural tissue and blood flow back to the penis. Instead of tricking the body with an injection of chemicals to excite the genital area – we’re looking at you Viagra and Cialis – the regenerative process started by our treatments is long lasting. Results of our treatment have been proven to keep men free of Erectile Dysfunction for several years!

The scientific mishaps or overpromises to treat ED have put doubt in a lot of our minds. The question is always “Will this actually work?”

Paragon’s Pulse Wave therapy does work. And, it’s painless. Read more about our procedure here! Or schedule a free medical and initial treatment with a Paragon Men’s Health location nearest to you.

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